Sometimes the Blessing Is the Encounter

On unexpected connections, doing things alone, and letting life surprise you.

I’m Still Single, Besties

Now, I know y’all always want the tea on my dating life. 😂

YES, I’m still single. My attention has been piqued here and there, and I’m still figuring out what that means for me. But I’m also learning to let myself experience life without putting so much pressure on every interaction.

I’m not spoken for, and I’m not going to limit myself from experiencing joy, meeting new people, or having a little adventure simply because I don’t know where it might lead.

Two experiences this summer reminded me of something I’ve been learning throughout my healing journey. Sometimes, all it takes is being in the right place at the right time for life to surprise you.

And sometimes, the blessing isn’t what comes after the encounter. Sometimes, the encounter itself is the blessing.

The Night I Went Out for Chinese Food

I think it was Fourth of July weekend. I didn’t have any big plans, so I was keeping things pretty chill.

I’m lounging around my apartment when suddenly it’s eight or nine at night, and I realize I haven’t even eaten dinner.

I look up a local Chinese restaurant, see that it’s open late, and think, bet. I’m on my way.

I’ve never been there before, but I’m hungry, so off I go.

When I arrive, the woman working there asks if it’s just me. I tell her yes, and she directs me away from the table where I’m sitting and tells me to sit at the bar instead.

She’s looking at me like, “You know we’re about to close, right?”

I’m thinking, damn, okay. 😂

She tells me I can order, but I need to order now.

A few minutes later, a guy walks in, and she’s giving him the exact same energy. She tells him to sit at the bar because they’re about to close and he needs to order right away.

He asks if he can sit next to me. Of course, I say yes. It’s just me, so sit wherever you want.

I can already tell he’s nervous. Lord, here we go.

We order our food, and there’s this awkwardness because I can tell he’s trying to figure out what to say to me. Eventually, we start chatting, and the conversation flows naturally enough that we decide to get ice cream afterward.

He tells me where to go, we pay our bills, and he walks me to my car.

I put the ice cream place into my GPS, and it says it’s closed.

I’m confused because he told me it was open late. But I decide to go anyway. If it’s closed, I’ll leave. If it’s open, I’ll see him there.

Well, the place is technically closed, but the side window where they take to go orders is still open.

I don’t see him, so I wait a few minutes. Then I spot him standing outside, looking around.

Mind you, we didn’t exchange numbers before leaving the restaurant. We just trusted that we’d find each other there.

I get out, he buys me ice cream, and we walk around the harbor under the stars, eating our ice cream by the water.

Honestly, it was kind of romantic.

Until he started eating his ice cream.

Y’all. I hate to be one of those women, but I cannot lie to you. The way this man ate his ice cream gave me the ICK. 😭😂

I can’t even describe it properly, but I swear it plays in my head whenever I see people eating ice cream now.

I tried to put it aside and enjoy the moment. We talked, we vibed, and I had a genuinely nice time.

I already knew he wasn’t quite my type. We connected conversationally, but the physical attraction wasn’t really there, and between the ice cream incident and a few other things, I wasn’t feeling the alignment I wanted.

Still, I didn’t want to dismiss him solely because I wasn’t immediately feeling that physical connection. So when he asked me on another date a real first date few days later, I went.

He took me to see Obsession, and y’all know I love my horror movies. I was excited that someone actually wanted to go see it with me.

He gave me a few more icks during that date, which I’m not getting into because my homegirls already told me it was time to move on. 😂

And that was that.

What If I Had Stayed Home?

I share that story because it reminds me how many little decisions can lead us into experiences we never could have planned.

What if I had decided not to leave my apartment that night?

What if I had gone somewhere else for dinner?

What if I had seen that the ice cream place was closed and simply gone home?

What if I hadn’t given the second date a chance?

None of these decisions changed the direction of my love life, but they gave me an experience I wouldn’t otherwise have had.

I met someone new. I had an unexpected evening. I laughed, enjoyed myself, and was reminded that connection can happen when you least expect it.

Not every person we meet is meant to become our partner. Not every date has to lead to a relationship. And not every experience needs to have some grand, life changing outcome to be worthwhile.

Sometimes, it’s just a good story.

Sometimes, it’s an opportunity to learn more about yourself, discover what you enjoy, or realize what doesn’t work for you.

And sometimes, it’s simply a nice evening that reminds you life is still happening while you’re busy trying to figure everything out.

Turkish Delight in Greece

Fast forward to Greece.

I had made a list of places to visit, restaurants to try, snacks to find, and experiences I wanted to have. I was determined to make the most of my trip.

After landing, I pushed myself to stay awake rather than going straight to sleep. On my first night out, I ended up meeting someone I’ll call Turkish Delight. 😂

Yes, he’s Turkish. I know you put that together already.

I was traveling alone, and people were getting turned away from this rooftop bar. I noticed him standing there, made a mental note, and kept it moving.

That’s actually been a theme for me this summer when it comes to men. I see what I like, make note of it, and keep it pushing. No need to pursue. It’s been the trenches out here.

I tell the host it’s just me and that the bar is fine. She tells me I’m in luck because there are two seats available at the bar.

We go over and sit down, and there’s that awkward silence again. At least on my end.

Eventually, we start talking about traveling alone, where we’re from, and all the usual things. We order drinks, and I get some food because I hadn’t eaten anything since the breakfast served on my flight.

Side note, shout out to SWISS Airlines. Dinner and breakfast, a pillow, and a blanket? I felt very taken care of. 😂

Anyway, we continue talking, and before I know it, we’re bar hopping for the rest of the night. We exchange contact information, and just like that, I have a new connection with someone from another part of the world.

All because I decided to go out even though I was tired.

I stepped outside my comfort zone, remained open to conversation, and allowed myself to experience something I hadn’t planned for.

I hope Turkish Delight doesn’t read this. He told me he’s not big on social media, so let’s hope he skips this one. 😂

But I genuinely enjoyed our conversations. We talked about dating in Berlin versus dating in Boston, and he made some observations about dating here that had me laughing. He said the men over here need to step it up. I’m kidding. Well, kind of.

What stayed with me most wasn’t whether the connection would lead to anything romantic. It was the realization that meeting someone doesn’t always have to come with an expectation.

I didn’t need him to become my person for the evening to have meaning.

I didn’t need to figure out what the connection was supposed to be.

I could simply enjoy meeting someone different from me, hear his perspective, share mine, and appreciate the experience for what it was.

Sometimes, the Meeting Is the Blessing

I think we can become so focused on outcomes that we forget to appreciate the experiences happening right in front of us.

We meet someone and immediately wonder whether they’re going to be important in our lives.

We start trying to determine whether the connection will last, whether it has potential, or whether it’s leading somewhere.

And while discernment is important, I’ve learned that not every encounter needs to be evaluated according to what it might eventually become.

Sometimes, the purpose of meeting someone is simply to meet them.

Sometimes, we get a conversation that shifts our perspective, an experience that makes us laugh, or a memory that reminds us how beautiful it can be to connect with another human being.

Sometimes, the blessing is the encounter itself.

I like to think of these experiences as little reminders from God to remain open to life. Not every moment needs to be orchestrated, and not every blessing arrives in the form we expect.

Sometimes, all we have to do is show up.

The Beauty of Doing Things Alone

One thing I continue to appreciate about solo travel is how much it encourages me to put myself out there.

When you’re traveling with other people, there’s nothing wrong with enjoying their company. But you’re also moving within the dynamic of the group. You have plans to coordinate, conversations to continue, and experiences you’re sharing with the people you came with.

When you’re alone, you have more opportunities to engage with the world around you.

You might strike up a conversation with a stranger. You might accept an invitation to explore somewhere new. You might end up in a place you hadn’t planned to visit because you were curious enough to see where the night would take you.

You’re not waiting for someone else’s schedule, mood, or availability to align with yours.

You get to make the decision for yourself.

And there’s something empowering about knowing you can create meaningful experiences without needing someone to accompany you.

You can enjoy your own company and still be open to connecting with others.

You can be independent without becoming closed off.

You can enjoy a moment with someone without needing them to become a permanent fixture in your life.

I’m learning that those things can coexist.

Let Life Surprise You

These two experiences reminded me that life doesn’t always unfold according to a plan.

Sometimes, the smallest decision can lead to an unexpected memory. Sometimes, leaving the house when you almost decided not to can introduce you to someone new. And sometimes, the experience doesn’t lead to anything beyond the moment itself.

That doesn’t make it meaningless.

I’m still learning what I want from dating and what kind of connection I’m willing to make room for. I still have hopes for love and companionship, and I know discernment matters.

But I also want to enjoy the life I’m living while I’m figuring those things out.

I don’t want to become so focused on finding my person that I forget to appreciate all the other ways life can be beautiful.

So here’s your reminder to remain open.

Go to the restaurant. Take the solo trip. Sit at the bar. Strike up the conversation if you feel comfortable. Let yourself experience something new without deciding in advance what it needs to mean.

You never know what a simple decision might lead to.

And even if it leads nowhere beyond a good story, a little laughter, and an ice cream ick you’ll never recover from, maybe that was enough.

Sometimes, the blessing is the encounter.

Sometimes, the purpose is the experience.

And sometimes, life is just reminding you that there is still so much waiting for you beyond the plans you’ve already made.