Learning to Appreciate the Life I’m Living

On gratitude, growth, and learning to stop moving the goalpost.

One Hell of a Summer

Wow. It has been one hell of a summer. Truly one for the history books.

I’m writing this blog from Greece, and I still can’t believe I’m actually here. The weeks leading up to this trip were a doozy, and the days before my departure were even worse. But you know what? Sometimes, when I feel like there’s no way out and I’m about to lose my shit, God has a way of pushing me in the direction of my answered prayers.

Looking back, I realize this summer has been about so much more than the places I’ve visited or the things I’ve accomplished. It has been about learning how to appreciate where I am while still being excited about where I’m going.

And if there’s one thing I’ve had to work on, it’s that.

The Goalpost Keeps Moving

I’ve always been an overachiever. I’m ambitious, I’m a perfectionist, and I have this tendency to feel like I need to do more to be seen, valued, or chosen.

I reach a goal, celebrate it for about five minutes, and then immediately start thinking about the next thing I need to accomplish.

I don’t always give myself the opportunity to sit with what I’ve achieved because I’m already focused on what comes next.

And honestly, that gets exhausting.

When you’re constantly moving the goalpost, you never really allow yourself to feel like you’ve arrived anywhere. There’s always another milestone to reach, another version of yourself to become, another thing you need to do before you can finally feel proud.

Without realizing it, you can turn your own growth into a source of anxiety and resentment. You work so hard to build a life you want, only to become so consumed with improving it that you forget to enjoy it.

I’ve had to recognize how easily that mindset can steal my joy.

I’m learning that ambition and gratitude can coexist. I can want more for myself without treating the life I have now as though it isn’t enough.

I can be proud of the woman I’m becoming while also appreciating the woman who got me here.

Finding Value in What I Have Right Now

I’ve started thinking differently about how I measure success, especially with content creation.

I started posting again, mainly making reels and sharing them across different social media platforms. Like anything new, it’s been a lot of trial and error. Sometimes the videos I work hardest on barely get any attention, while the ones I throw together in two seconds end up getting thousands of views.

Make it make sense. 😂

But I keep posting. I keep showing up, slowly finding my rhythm and figuring out what works for me.

Of course, getting 10K or more views feels good. I’m human, and I’m not going to pretend that kind of attention doesn’t give you a little ego boost. But I don’t want to become so focused on going viral that I lose sight of why I started sharing in the first place.

Sometimes my captions have something deeper behind them. Other times, I’m just having fun.

Both can exist.

I came across a video by Michael Smoak that made me think about how easily we compare ourselves to other people in the content creation space. We see someone with 10K, 100K, or a million followers and automatically assume they’re doing better than us.

But what if your purpose is to serve the 2K, 3K, or 5K people who choose to follow you? What if those people genuinely value what you have to share?

Why do we automatically assume that reaching more people means we’re doing something more meaningful?

I’ve been reminding myself that I don’t need to reach everybody. I want to connect with the people who resonate with me, who recognize something in my words, or who might feel a little less alone because I decided to share a piece of my experience.

That’s enough.

I don’t want to become so concerned with being seen by everybody that I forget to appreciate the people who already see me.

And honestly, that lesson extends far beyond social media.

Learning to Enjoy My Own Life

July was a particularly interesting month for me because Soleil wasn’t with me.

Chileeee, I was outside! 😂

And not necessarily outside partying or going out all the time. I mean OUTDOORS.

I found hiking trails, went on walks, longboarding, and went to every workout class my heart desired. Hot yoga, Pilates, spin, group workouts. I switched up my routines, tried different things, and figured out what I enjoyed.

I could wake up and decide I wanted to go somewhere, and I could simply go.

That freedom was priceless.

It reminded me how important it is to have a relationship with yourself outside of your responsibilities. I love being a mother, but I’m also a woman with interests, curiosity, and a desire to experience life.

I needed that time to pour back into myself, to do things simply because I wanted to do them, and to enjoy having ownership over my time.

I wasn’t trying to prove anything. I wasn’t trying to turn every experience into an accomplishment.

I was just living.

And maybe that’s part of what I’ve been learning all along. Not every moment needs to be productive. Not every experience needs to lead somewhere. Sometimes the point is simply that you enjoyed yourself.

The Life My Family Worked For

Being in Greece has also given me a lot of time to reflect on how far I’ve come and what it means to have the freedom to live this way.

My parents had to work hard to build a life in America after the life they experienced in Jamaica. They made sacrifices so my sister and I could have opportunities they didn’t necessarily have.

I don’t take that lightly.

I recognize that I’m standing on a foundation they worked hard to build. I have the opportunity to make choices about my life, to leave situations that aren’t safe for me, to rebuild, to pursue my goals, and to experience things that weren’t always accessible to the generations before me.

I’m not the first person in my family to work hard or make sacrifices. But I am deeply grateful to be in a position where I can begin to enjoy some of the fruits of those sacrifices.

I can travel. I can create a home for myself and my daughter. I can pursue a career, explore my interests, and decide what kind of life I want to build.

That doesn’t mean everything has been easy. It doesn’t erase the experiences that brought me here.

But I think there’s something beautiful about realizing that the hard parts of your story aren’t the only parts worth acknowledging.

I want to honor what I’ve overcome, but I also want to honor what I’ve gained.

I want to enjoy the life I’m building instead of constantly looking for the next thing that will make me feel like I’ve finally made it.

Gratitude Without Giving Up on More

I’m still ambitious. I still have dreams, goals, and things I want to experience. I still want to grow in my career, continue healing, create meaningful content, and build the kind of future I envision for myself and Soleil.

I’m not interested in settling for a life that doesn’t fulfill me.

But I’m learning that appreciating the present doesn’t mean giving up on the future.

I can be grateful for my life and still desire a different experience in certain areas. I can appreciate my independence and still want companionship. I can recognize my progress and still have work to do.

Two things can be true at once.

Maybe the next stage of my growth isn’t about accomplishing more. Maybe it’s about learning how to experience what I’ve already accomplished.

Maybe it’s about celebrating the milestones instead of immediately turning them into stepping stones toward something else.

Maybe it’s about recognizing that I don’t have to wait until every part of my life is perfect before I allow myself to be happy.

I’m Here, and That Means Something

I think about the version of myself who once prayed for the life I’m living now.

The woman who wanted peace. The woman who wanted freedom. The woman who was trying to find her footing and figure out how to build a life that felt safe, fulfilling, and true to her.

I don’t want to become so focused on what I’m still waiting for that I forget to acknowledge what has already changed.

I want to give myself permission to be proud.

To be grateful.

To take up space without feeling like I need to earn my place in it.

To recognize that even though I’m not where I ultimately want to be, I’m no longer where I started.

And that matters.

I’m learning that I don’t have to stop dreaming to appreciate my reality. I don’t have to stop growing to celebrate my progress. And I don’t have to keep proving my worth through everything I accomplish.

Sometimes the growth is in the pause. In the gratitude. In looking around at the life you’ve built and allowing yourself to say, “I’m proud of me.”

So here’s your reminder, and mine, to stop moving the goalpost long enough to appreciate the journey.

You are allowed to want more without discrediting what you already have.

You are allowed to be a work in progress without treating yourself like an unfinished project.

And you are allowed to enjoy the life you’re living while you’re still becoming the person you want to be.

Because one day, you might look around and realize you’re already living some of the prayers you once cried over.

I don’t want to miss that moment by being too busy asking God for the next thing.

I want to be present enough to recognize the blessings when they arrive.

And grateful enough to enjoy them when they do.