When the Universe Gives You the Chance to Remember Who You Are

I love when a motherfucker gives me the opportunity to show them that I really don’t give a fuck.

Let me give some context.

I matched with this guy — let’s call him Mr. Secret Service — and things were going really well for the first week. If you know my life, you know the chaos, the discernment, and the way my spirit team taps me on the shoulder ANY time someone even tries to play in my face.

We were talking consistently. Daily. Double-texting. Phone calls. Effort.

The lover girl in me was rejoicing because finally — a man who wasn’t scared to show interest.

But then the little comments started.

“How long does it take you to respond?” “You be disappearing.” “I don’t like being left on read.”

Yellow flags waving quietly in the distance.

Mind you — I already told him I’m a mom, I’m working full-time, and when I’m not working, I’m mommy until my child goes to bed. My priorities are exactly where they should be. That wasn’t a problem… at first.

Then came the constant, “So when am I going to see you?”

I literally broke down my entire month for this man — every free pocket of time I might have between work, parenting, picking up extra shifts for Christmas, and trying to stay sane. He understood. Or at least I thought he did.

But a few days later, he started pushing again. Not just for a date — but to come to my house.

FULL. FUCKING. STOP.

Just because we talk on the phone does not mean you have access to my home.

You do not get my location. You do not get to “pull up on me.” You do not get privileges you did not earn.

Every time he asked, I said no. And every time I said no, he pushed harder.

The next morning he asked again if he was seeing me later — and that’s when the mask slipped. Suddenly he was emotionally unstable, passive-aggressive, disrespectful, spiraling, guilt-tripping, victimizing himself, and turning my clear boundary into a debate.

I gently explained — again — that he was not coming to my house. I’m a mother. I’m a woman. I’m not inviting a man I’ve never met into the space where my child sleeps.

What do I look like?

Instead of respecting that, he turned it into a whole dramatic monologue. Accusations. Feeling “rejected.” Acting like I hurt him. Like my boundary was some personal attack.

At that point, I stopped trying to reassure him. There was nothing more to say. Because I know my intentions. I know my boundaries. And I am so secure within myself that I will NEVER chase a grown man — especially not one who reacts like that.

When Men Show You Who They Are… BELIEVE IT

It seems like every time I start catching even a little feeling, these men show their real character. Their intentions always reveal themselves. Their emotional maturity — or lack of it — comes to the surface.

And honestly? I respect when someone owns who they are and wants to grow. But when you’re stuck in your ways, refusing to evolve, refusing to look inward? That will always be your downfall.

Three Years of Healing Taught Me Everything I Need to Know

These last three years of healing, shadow work, celibacy, building my connection with God and my ancestors — they weren’t pretty, but they were beautiful. They were necessary.

Those years trained me to:

✨ Trust my intuition ✨ Respect my boundaries ✨ Evaluate the ick when it comes up ✨ Listen to my spirit before my heart ✨ Follow my gut instead of my loneliness

I didn’t listen to my intuition years ago. I refuse to repeat those mistakes now just because I crave connection. I’ll do another three years of work before I ever fall back into those cycles again.

We’re Closing Out the Year of 999

999: endings, rebirth, shedding, completion.

This year was all of that.

I’m not about to block my blessings because I’m in a hurry. Every time I choose myself, I come home to my spirit. Every time I choose myself over lust, I return to my body. Every time I choose myself over lukewarm affection, I deepen my self-love.

There comes a point where you have to say enough is enough.

Enough of the old patterns.

Enough of the same dusty behaviors.

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

And honestly? I think I need to take a break from the dating apps altogether. It’s distracting me. It’s pulling too much of my energy. And as this year closes out, I want to move from abundance, not desperation. Alignment, not attachment.

I can’t keep pouring into men who don’t even have the capacity to meet me where I am.

This next chapter requires me to be selfish with my energy, my time, my aura, and my presence.

✨ LESSONS FROM THIS WEEK (For You, Me, and Every Woman Reading)

1. A boundary is not rejection — and anyone who treats it like rejection is not for you. Healthy men respect your comfort, your time, and your safety.

2. Early emotional instability is not “passion.” It’s a warning.

3. If his energy drains you before the first date? That is the date. And you already know the review: 1 star, would not recommend.

4. Don’t abandon yourself for connection. Your love is the prize — not the audition.

5. You can always reclaim your energy. Delete the app. Turn off the phone. Pull back. Reset. You do not owe anybody access to you.

6. Choosing yourself is spiritual discipline. It’s proof you’ve grown. Proof you’re aligning. Proof you’re not returning to versions of you that settled for less.

Closing Affirmation

✨ “I return to myself. I honor my intuition. I choose aligned love over temporary attention. My boundaries are sacred. My energy is mine. I am the blessing — and I will not shrink to fit anyone who cannot receive me.” ✨

Asé