Driving always seems to be the time of day where I can finally be still. No coworkers, no patients, no daughter calling “Mommy,” no one needing a thing from me — just me and my thoughts. And this past week? Whew. My mind has been reaching back into everything I’ve been carrying, and honestly, it left me drained.
There is nothing worse for a spiritual baddie than feeling depleted.
When I’m not pouring into myself, I feel every shift around me. Every mood. Every emotion. Every ounce of chaos in the air. And last week was a lot.
Healing from Being Dumped in the Talking Stage
Let’s just get right into the bullshit: dating apps.
You pick the best pictures, answer clever prompts, state your intentions, and hope someone out there sees your light. And still — the talking stage is where men love to do Olympic-level ghosting. I’ve watched enough TikTok horror stories to know I’m not alone, but damn… when did we all become so disposable?
I’m honest on my profile.
I’m newly free, I like my independence, but I still want love. Eventually. I’m not a casual girlie. I don’t do well with “situational chemistry.” I want connection, even if we’re not rushing into titles.
But dating apps make it too easy to treat people like they’re nothing more than a swipe.
One wrong vibe and boom — unmatch, block, ghost. Gone.
These men be putting “looking for something real” in their bios, but the minute you ask deeper questions? Suddenly the energy shifts. They take your number, text consistently for a few days, then disappear for hours… then days… then weeks. And when they finally come back it’s giving lukewarm, low-effort resurrection.
My vibe? Immediately killed.
If one more man asks me for my Instagram or Snapchat just to waste my time, the app is getting deleted. Immediately. Between the cold weather, the earlier sunsets, and my social life being what it is, this cycle feels like a trap I’m ready to step out of.
Spiritual Hygiene & Protecting My Energy
One thing about me: I pick up energy FAST.
My work environment alone — patients, women coworkers (enough said), teachers, parents, strangers — is enough to overwhelm any spiritually open person.
That’s why my head wrap is 98% spiritual protection.
Protecting my crown.
Protecting my ori.
Protecting my mind.
The other 2% is bad hair day… which I still turn into a spiritual moment.
Chaotic energy hits me instantly. I’ll go from calm to irritated, grounded to anxious, or centered to overwhelmed in seconds. Some people’s aura is just… a lot.
This is why spiritual hygiene is non-negotiable.
When someone enters my space with chaotic or negative energy, I cleanse immediately. Sometimes it’s a quiet prayer:
“God, remove any energy that isn’t mine. Steady my mind. Let my inner light come forward.”
If I can slip into the bathroom, I’ll do a quick energetic wipe-down.
And—you must throw that energy away. Literally.
Trash it. Flush it. Release it.
You can’t sage your house with the windows closed.
Energy needs somewhere to GO.
My shower is another reset. I pray:
“Thank you for this day. Cleanse, heal, and renew me. Cleanse my mind, body, and spirit. Restore me with Your light, blessings, and favor.I release the energy of the day.”
I am a spiritual being having a human experience, and I need to honor both.
A Message From Spirit (and a Little Honey-Onion Remedy)
Every time I get too caught up in my human experience, my spirit team taps me lovingly on my shoulder.
Since my daughter started school, it’s been cold after cold after cold. The infamous daycare cough. One night she climbed into my bed coughing, and her cough literally STOPPED my dream.
And clear as day, one of my ancestors said:
“Make the remedy.”
A jar. Half a yellow onion. A clove of garlic. Cover it in honey. Let it ferment for a day.
I made it for both of us and within two days? Her cough reduced, mucus cleared, no runny nose.
Moments like this remind me: I am a healer. This path chose me. And stepping into it is my birthright.
This Week’s Lesson: I Return to Myself
This week was chaotic — but in the best possible way.
Getting dumped in the talking stage realigned me with my boundaries. It reminded me:
I know what I want I must be upfront. Their response has nothing to do with me. My reaction is what matters. Anyone can meditate in silence. True power is staying centered in chaos.
I have the tools to cleanse, release, and transform any situation. I refuse to settle for lukewarm, inconsistent, surface-level connections ever again.
I’m stepping into an era where I know exactly who I am — and I’m done bending for anyone who can’t meet me there.
Closing Mantra
“I can’t control how others move, but I can always return to my own inner peace.”
Asé.
Diary of a Self- Lover 
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